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| News date | News description | |
|---|---|---|
| Critical News Shortage Hits LlamaWiki | 2455554.524 December 2010 | |
| Haymeen Scientists Discover Chemical Opposite of Mustard | 2455326.510 May 2010 | Chemical opposite of ''mustard'' discovered by Haymeen scientists |
| Co-17 Invasion | 2455317.51 May 2010 | |
| Central Diceph Government Decides to Invade Co-17 | 2455317.51 May 2010 | |
| Co-17 Wall Finished | 2455315.529 April 2010 | |
| CDG Moves 105 Dicephalocerateriasis Nations | 2455314.528 April 2010 | |
| Massive Dicephalocerateriasises make a technological breakthrough | 2455310.524 April 2010 | |
| Massive Dicephalocerateriasis Uprising on April 12th | 2455298.512 April 2010 | Massive Dicephalocerateriasis Uprising on April ''12<sup>th</sup>'' |
| Massive Dicephalocerateriasis Uprising Predicted on April 10th | 2455293.57 April 2010 | The Central Dicephalocerateriasis Government predicts a Massive Dicephalocerateriasis uprising on April 10<sup>th</sup> |
| Waymeen Government Says Simple Change Will Save Empire Billions Yearly | 2455293.57 April 2010 | |
| HAG: Number 1 Cause of Dents is Bumping Into Stuff | 2455290.54 April 2010 | |
| Massive Dicephalocerateriasis uprising - thousands killed, more wounded | 2455289.53 April 2010 | |
| Haymeen-B Destroyed | 2455289.53 April 2010 | |
| Massive Dicephalocerateriasis uprising predicted on April 3rd, 2010 | 2455288.52 April 2010 | DDOW predicts a Massive Dicephalocerateriasis uprising on April 3<sup>rd</sup>. |
| Haymeen Automotive Group unveils new unmanned vehicle | 2455121.517 October 2009 | Haymeen Automotive Group unveils a new unmanned vehicle known as the hover pod. |
| Haymeen life found on other planet | 2455106.52 October 2009 | Haymeen life is found on planet Atris in the Loraa star system. |
| Haymeen government announces plans to use encryption | 2455089.515 September 2009 | Haymeen government announces plans to use encryption when sending messages online. |
| Haymeen Automotive Group releases generation 3 Vanturnes, Sendronds, and Tritams | 2455036.524 July 2009 | Haymeen Automotive Group releases generation 3 vehicles |
| DDOW executives seen eating a Dicephalocerateriasis | 2454925.54 April 2009 | DDOW employees eat young, defenseless Dicephalocerateriasis |
| Haymeen scientist Mersa finds, drops meaning of life | 2454913.523 March 2009 |
